It has been confirmed today that the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh will not be attending the wedding of Pippa Middleton and James Someone-Or-Other because the 91 year old Monarch can’t find an arse-hugging dress to wear.
It’s well known within the royal family that the queen felt very much overshadowed by Pippa Middleton’s arse at the wedding of her grandchild William and as a result has been spotted in the local Primark desperately throwing dresses asunder to find the perfect ‘arse-hugging’ number.
The Duke of Edinburgh, who recently retired from royal duties is said to be disappointed as he was looking forward to perving at his wife for the first time in 50 years.
Despite, Pippa’s invite to wear ‘any old thing’ the Queen has point blank refused unless she can find something that will make the regal rear look like Pippa’s did at Will and Kate’s wedding.
The BBC have even made a documentary about the monarchs search for the right dress, fronted by royal correspondent, Nicholas Witchell it’s to be called The Search For Frock.