Vegan Outrage As New £5 Note Off Their Menu.

Vegan Outrage As New £5 Note Off Their Menu.

Vegans all over Great Britain are expressing their outrage at the fact that the new polymer £5 note contains trace amounts of Tallow, a substance derived from fats and also used in candles and soaps, by signing a new online petition.

Hippy McSmellyBastard, a vegan who hasn’t used a bar of soap in years, took to the internet to express his disappointment that the new fiver would be inedible to him and his veggie mates because it contains the trace of a substance which is derived from fats. ‘I’m, like, outraged, man‘ he said before lighting a candle ‘we used to be able to eat bank notes if we got really really hungry from all the foods we can’t eat, man; now we’re just going to starve like one of those animals i was watching on animal planet the other day‘. When we pointed out that candles also contained Tallow, Hippy McSmellyBastard simply whispered, ‘yeah but they keep us warm when we can’t eat any food, man‘ and flicked us a peace sign before passing out when we waved a fiver under his nose.

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