Assange Has Internet Turned Off

Assange Has Internet Turned Off

Wikileaks founder Julian Assange has had his internet service cut off at the Ecuadorian embassy because he’s been downloading nothing but Adam Sandler movies for the last 6 months.

Assange, 45 has been hiding in the Ecuadorian embassy for four years trying to avoid arrest for sex crime allegations in Sweden is said to be devastated that he can no longer watch and re-watch movie classics such as 50 First Dates or You Don’t Mess With The Zohan.

Ecuadorian officials wept during their statements saying “we just cant take watching Happy Gilmore and Big Daddy over and over, it’s killing us!” they continued “we tried to reason with him, we asked him to watch some Pauly Shore movies instead but he just would not be reasonable so we had to cut his internet connection

Mr Assange’s internet was confirmed to have been cut off via the WikiLeaks twitter account on Saturday evening and Australia’s most pallid man is said to be experiencing severe withdrawal from the internet but we are reliably informed that his eyes have started adjusting to normal light again rather than the blue light from a computer screen.

Adam Sandler was asked about Mr Assange’s strange fixation on his movies and the subsequent internet withdrawal by the Ecuadorians and would only comment “it’s probably for his own good, my movies are utter garbage“.

 

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