Mewsic To Their Ears

Mewsic To Their Ears

Universal have taken the bold step of creating an album which is not for human ears but furry little feline ones!

According to reports out today, Music giant Universal have created an album that is only for the ears of cats but they admit that until cats get bank accounts their human underlings will have to buy the album for their feline masters.

Universal have enlisted the help of American cellist and musical researcher, David Teie, based at Maryland University who is taking the work extremely seriously “The biggest challenge is that people think it’s silly. But I think it is how the brain works. If I look at a door and say that’s a fish, you will say no it’s a door” Actually Dave we’d call the men in white coats. Teie continued “Everyone knows what music is and animals are not included. If you really look into it what’s silly is the idea that only one species could have music available for it“.


The music features purring and suckling noises as well as Teie on his cello sounding like a cat screaming in a fight.

Teie produced the album after first studying whether music could be created by for monkeys. Those experiments were so successful that he expanded his research to Dogs, finding that there were just too many breeds out there. “I think i bit off more than i could chew with that, different breeds just like different music and i was a bit worried about having to make music for Labradors or Rottweiler/Poodle mixbreeds so i decided to work on cats instead”.

Initially wary cat slaves have been so happy at the change in their masters behaviour whilst listening to the music that they would be happy to part with their hard earned cash even in this time of financial austerity. Cat lover, Pete Longbeard from Hackney was quoted as saying “All this time i’ve been playing Titan the wrong music, no wonder he was so ambivalent toward me when i was playing James Blunt at the highest volume!” he continued “I was going to spend that money on a new plaid shirt but seeing how happy this music makes Titan, the shirt can wait!

Titan the cat had no comment to make but scratched us when we stopped stroking it.


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